I completely understood that when, or even if, I returned to
Thailand, it would be years in the future. These children would be at boarding
schools all over the world, or simply unreachable. I would have no way of
contacting them. It broke my heart to leave them in the hands of teachers who
wouldn’t even know their names. But I knew that these new teachers would learn
to love them and understand them in the way I did.
As we hugged the kids goodbye, each one got more difficult
and each one would act less like themselves. I’m sure it made the kids feel
uneasy seeing their teachers in an emotional state, some to the point where
they refused to even hug us. Others cried alongside us and those were the most
difficult. Us teachers would wave as they drove away with their families and then
comfort one another. Finally the time came to get in the van and drive to
Bangkok. It was the longest five hour drive of my life.
I knew that after the drive I would be stuck in an airport
for five hours and I would no longer be in Thailand quicker than I wanted. I felt
that I had to take everything in and reflect how that country changed my life.
As we drove, I listened to comforting music and the tears continued. Thailand
had changed my life. I felt at home there even with everything feeling so
foreign. I knew what my purpose was in life and I knew what was expected of me
there. Life in Thailand reflected the lives of the Thai people: simple yet
breath-taking. Thailand also changed who I wanted to become. It changed how I
viewed others and how I viewed this world. I gained a better appreciation for
my family, my church and especially my Savior Jesus Christ.
I know that Christ died for the sins of the world. I know that
Christ is aware of the lives of the Thai people I came into contact with. He
knows their joys, their challenges and their hearts. The homeless man who
always wore a construction vest and who waved to us, the humble Buddhist monks,
our favorite fruit vendor, and countless others all were known, loved, and
understood by Jesus Christ. He loves them, he wants them to be happy, and even
though they don’t have a relationship with him, he appreciates their Christ-like
love.
A part of the Thai culture will always be with me. It is now
March and I still feel completely different from the person I was in August. My
understanding has changed, my desires are more grounded and my capacity to love
has grown immensely. I hope that I can look at these past posts and remember my
life in Phichit. I hope that others can grow and learn from it too. I know that
as we put ourselves in difficult situations that may be out of our comfort
zone, we will grow and be edified. This experience was anything but easy but I
wouldn’t trade the lessons I learned for anything.
Thank you to my parents who trusted in my decision to do
this. Thank you to ILP for allowing this experience to take place. Thank you to
Tang and Ake for taking care of me, and thank you to Natalie, Kelsey, Heidi,
Lindsay, and Charlotte for supporting me in that journey. I am so blessed.
